I wish to, first draw attention to the fact that I am in Recovery from my Dual-Disorder since April 28, 1984. Yee-haw! Next, I will tell you of my escapades prior to continuous recovery.
I had been attempting to get into Recovery from alcoholism/drug addiction/schizophrenia which I had not been diagnosed with at the time/bipolar disorder/panic attacks. This is a mess to deal with!! My untreated illnesses started to kick me in the behind and I mean not able to sleep for weeks/anxiety beyond words/and plain old acting crazy making me, even upon initial Recovery, isolated from the world and reality for a total of 7 years. Alone and lonely. I even went to church...the same church I was custodian at for years at the age of 13 because my mom and dad were poor so I worked and basically put food on the table for the family. Anyway, these people at church I had known would not look at me, talk to me, shake my hand...it was as if there was no forgiveness in going to church. So, I remained alone and lonely for years after that.
My point is here: My hallucinations developed into a science fiction/horror genre and the hallucinations were so real/so vivid and convincing that I believed them. They were action-packed, supposedly rewarding if I was able to perform as a "character" in a story I would get millions of dollars and Power over anything/anybody!
Crazy? Yes! Not my fault! I was clean and sober and broke no laws. Just was nuts. I actually acquired a "fun" story of which I lived while hallucinating. To me, that part of my hallucinations was "fun" to me! A reward from my God. And at the time they were fun hallucinations!
Now, haven gotten help for this set of illnesses called Dually-Diagnosed I am REALly enjoying life and am in the process of writing novels about my fun hallucinations!
I hope the best to ya'll!
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